How to: love yourself (part 2)

Step 2: embracing your differences.

Hey there, pretty human. We’re now onto step two on the journey to self love. If you want to (re) read part one, you can do so by clicking on the menu. Today, we’re going to focus on the importance of staying ourselves. You are unique, why try to be like everyone else? Well, you don’t have to!

Happiness and self love walk hand in hand. You could certainly be a lot. happier if you learnt to love yourself properly, right? Yeah, you would live a much better life without the pangs of despair, the spells of insecurity and the craving to be someone else. If you can’t seem to be able to get rid of all this negativity, it’s time you ask yourself what’s stopping you, really? Is it due to people’s opinions? Are you depriving yourself of self love just because you are not what society deems as “perfect”?

But being “perfect” would mean being the same. Like a bunch of dolls. Being “perfect” would go against the fact that we’re all naturally, genetically different. So how can we keep comparing ourselves to each other like some identical, mass produced robots?

Tell me, would you hate on your neighbour’s cat for not barking like your dog and for mewing instead? Sounds ridiculous, isn’t it? How can a cat, who naturally mews, be expected to bark? Well, how can humans born in different shapes, sizes, with different bodies and mindsets be expected to look or act a specific way?

We are all naturally different from each other. Never in a million years will you find someone who is a better you than yourself. The only time when you’ll find someone who appears to be better than yourself is when you are trying to be something other than yourself. When you are trying to be slimmer, curvier, louder, more reserved, kinder, sassier or anything more than what you’ve always been. Then only will there be room for dissatisfaction.

This society whose opinions seem to matter more than your own is not a loyal friend. Because after sometime, everything which was “in” or “fashionable” goes out of style. Because if you keep following it, someday you’ll feel “outdated” like millions of other people before you. Because society will always make you feel that you are not enough. Because as many as 30 teens out of 50 have admitted that society impacts the way they see themselves. Because some people have spent their whole lives feeling inadequate. Because you are not the only one who’s suffering from this problem. Because you are keeping this attitude alive by limiting your self love on the basis of what people think. Because someone has to break this ugly trend. Because of all these reasons and so much more, you can’t let society influence how you feel about yourself. If you want to save the upcoming generations from years of believing they aren’t good enough, you should embrace your differences in order to teach others how to embrace theirs. Practice is the best preacher.

You also need to realise, pretty soul, that your wish to be different is a result of thinking you’re not good enough and wanting to be like someone else. Chances are, if everyone else was exactly like you, you wouldn’t want to change. Tell me, would you want to shave if everyone else scared aways from blades? Would you do what you feel is right when everyone else did the opposite or would you question your own judgement and act like everyone else? See, the problem is that most of us want to mark history, to stand out and be great but yet we shy away from different paths which are seldom taken. If you act like the whole crowd, you’ll end up being one of them.

So no, you’re not trying to be a better version of yourself but you want to be more like everyone else because you have it drilled in your mind that everyone else is better than you. Because if everyone was like you, you wouldn’t want to be a better version of yourself. No, not until you accept that your only competition is you. In simpler words, you might be giving into the pressure of being just another face in the crowd.

But how can you not believe in yourself, beautiful? The mass is not always right, you don’t always have to fit in. Just because Hitler had a massive following, does that mean his purpose was right? Just because everyone else wants to fit in this standardised world, does that mean being different is so wrong?

Secondly, you need to remember that if you choose to be anyone but yourself, you’ll never feel enough. You will be under the constant pressure to change with the trends and so, no matter how smarter, curvier, slimmer, taller or more of anything you get, you will never feel enough and you will not be able to love yourself unconditionally. As the magazines evolve and change, you will feel less and less adequate. Truth is, you’re never going to be able to love yourself more than how much you are able to love yourself right now. No matter how much you tell yourself that you’ll finally be confident in being you once you look or feel that specific way, it doesn’t work like that. You’ll always find something to be feel inadequate about because you can never fully become someone else. If you aren’t able to love and accept yourself the way you are now, you are never going to be able to do so, no matter how much you change. Because the key to self love is a change in how you view yourself.

And you would have lost so much time trying to change yourself that you won’t have time to love yourself. How can you bring this upon yourself? Don’t you feel betrayed, while treating yourself this way after all the things you’ve accomplished in this same body and mind?

But it doesn’t matter, no. You are here, willing to change the way that you feel about yourself. Now you know that you don’t have to change because you’re perfectly you and you are worthy of so many beautiful things. From now on you don’t need to give in to the pressure to change because as from today, you are the best version of yourself for the simple reason that you’re not trying to be anyone else.

Feel that spark of determination in the pit of your tummy? Yeah, you’re yet another step closer to being the strongest version of yourself– you’re another step closer to fully loving yourself.

Sending you loads of love and positivity,

Priyanka.

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8 thoughts on “How to: love yourself (part 2)

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